AAA Tips for writing your online dating profile.
Without doubt, the biggest disappointment for both men and women, men especially, is the lack of responses to their online dating profile, online personal ad or initial contact emails.
Guys, it not rocket science! If your profile or contact email is boring, derogatory, sexually suggestive or is to skimpy the chances of attracting a favourable response is nothing short of zero!
To write an interesting and entertaining online dating profile or personal ad takes a little time, a little practice and a little thought. I used to spend a few hours spread over a few days (sometimes longer) writing an online dating profile or personal ad. Changing, amending, rearranging, adjusting and re-writing till I was happy. The thing was, I was never ever really happy with what I had written, but there comes a time when you have to say, "It's by no means perfect, but I'll publish it otherwise by the time I do get it perfect, I'll be way to old to go out dating!" :)
Make your headline stand out miles above the competition!
I am not saying near enough is good enough. What I am saying is that you can create your profile and think of it as a work in progress, editing and adding to it as you go along. The most important thing is register at an online dating web site or personal ad web site and have your online profile published and seen as soon as you can. Mr or Ms Right may be waiting online for a person just like you, right now! :)
The best tool you have when writing your online dating profile is a word processor with a spell checker. Most windows and Mac computer come with some kind of basic word processing program or text editor and most word processing computer programs do have a spell checker - USE IT!
When you create your online dating profile, or a number of different versions of your profile information, save it as different file names or versions. I often include the date, as part of the filename, as this allows me to quickly identify the latest version of my online dating profile information. Saving your online profile in a text or word processor file allows you to update, change or amend your online dating profile at any time, as well as, allowing you to work on it over a period of time.
When it comes to the time to join an online dating web site you can save a lot of time by simply copying and pasting the profile text you have written directly into the online dating profile creation form. If you join a number of different online dating web site you profile creation time will be greatly reduced.
The most important thing you can do when you have created your online dating profile is to check, double-check and triple check the grammar and spelling! So many online dating profiles and online personal ads have annoying careless typos, spelling errors and grammatical errors. As hard as this may be to believe, people immediately focus on your typos and errors and not on what you have actually written, and this can be an instant turn-off to many literate members. It was for me with many of the ladies I considered contacting! :)
When your start your word processor or text editor you will be confronted with a blank page, so what do you write?
Headlines guaranteed NOT to entice further investigation of your dating profile:
Let's start by creating an attention grabbing headline. The headline (and photo if included) are the first things people see in the search results of an online dating web site. This is your one big chance to entice a person searching the online dating web site to venture further into your profile to find out more about you.
Your headline needs to be creative, eye-catching, a little flirty (within reason), funny (maybe) and written in a way to create an instant desire for the person to find out more about you. Think about your headline carefully, if you are having trouble writing something think, what would catch your attention and entice you to find out more about you? Make your headline simple and easy to read, in plain English and avoid corny cliche, acronyms and those annoying one letter words! (EG: MNQAS seeking COGXHS C U L8R!... what the!?!? :)
- Joe C...
- Hi I'm Rodney...
- Looking for love...
- I'm bored and have no life... wanna hook-up?
- Good time wanted, apply within...
- sally73 wanting real commitment!...
- Dateless Dan seeks Desperate Dames...
- I just broke up and now I am depressed...
- Toy Boy looking for someone to play with...
- Sex kitten looking for the purrrfect Leo...
I think you get the idea of what I am meaning here. The above headlines are either to simple, say nothing, are boring, negative, derogatory or sexually suggestive. Most people, especially women, are not overly interested or excited about derogatory or sexually suggestive comments in headlines, in your profile, or in contact emails for that matter. It's best to avoid these type of lame headlines and create a positive, well thought out and fun headline that reflects the essence of your own personality.
Be seen in a clear and positive way!
Think about how you would summarise yourself or describe the kind of person you are looking for in 10 words or less? Create a few different headlines and try them on different online dating web sites. Monitor the responses you receive and replace ones that don't work with those that do. Use the headline that attracts the most attention and email contacts. Yes I know these quick tips seem rather obvious, but you would be amazed at how many headlines are similar to those detailed above! :)
Creating a 'Stop-the-Press' (or should that now be, 'Stop-the-Internet'?) headline is difficult at the best of times, but you can always browse other dating web site profiles and online personal ads for inspiration and ideas. Search online dating web sites and see which headlines grab your attention, make note of the headlines you find compelling, fun, entertaining and interesting. Once you get into creating headlines they will start flow like flood waters over Niagara Falls. :)
Deciding on whether to include a photo in your online dating profile is entirely up to you. Profiles that include a photo receive a far greater number of contacts than those without - it is well documented on many online dating web sites that contact response can be well over 200% or more than online dating profiles that don't have a photo included.
All you need is a nice, unshadowed natural looking photo. Ensure it is unblurred, recent, doesn't have kids or pets in the photo. I know this should go without saying but, don't include a photo of you with an old girlfriend, drunken mates or semi-naked photos - for God's sake man! Put a T-shirt over those hairy man-boobs!
If you are insist ant that you don't want to include a photo in your profile, that's cool!
You can always send a photo to your contacts if and when they are requested.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE EXAMPLE: When I search an online dating web site, I always click the little check box in the search area that says something like "Only show profiles with photos". Some may think this shallow, believe me I am far from shallow! The thing is, I know what I like and what attracts me - Let me ask you this; If you like cats you would go out and buy a squawking parrot? If you like chocolate flavoured milk shakes, would you order a banana flavoured milk shake? Of course you wouldn't! The simple fact here is, you like what you like and there is nothing shallow about that! There is absolutely no point spending days, weeks or even months getting to know someone online and when you finally meet for coffee, you find you are not physically attracted to the person. ~sigh~ Always remember, you need to date smarter, not harder! :)
Me, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic at heart and this has happened to me, not once, not twice, but three times! Yes I know, you would of thought I would of learnt the first time around but you do get caught up in the whirl wind of fascination and intrigue of the written word. Finding someone new who pays you a little attention, you tend throw caution to the wind a little and forsake your own internal protective instincts. Since my last 'close encounter of a physically unattracted kind' I vowed never to contact another online dater unless they had a public photo on display. So far I have stuck to my guns and I haven't been dissapointed or found myself in an awkward face-to-face situation since. :)
If you do not want every Tom, Dick or Harriet to see your online photo there are options. If you feel that you just don't want a publicly viewable photo on a dating web site, for what ever reason, you can always opt to password protect your profile photo. This makes it non-viewable to the general member population, whilst only allowing those contacts that you want to see your photo, see your photo. You give them access to your photo by letting them know your photo password, the person then enters the password in the 'password entry box' on your profile to see your photo.
SECURITY TIP: Make you photo password different from your member account password for obvious reasons. :)
Password protecting your photo will result in far fewer contact emails than those profiles with a public viewable photo. If you are receiving far more attention than you can possibly manage you can always password protect your photo to reducing the number of contact emails.
Dating Profile Photo Tips:
- Ensure you use a clear and in focus photo.
Speckled, dark or blurred photos are not very appealing.
- Use a recent photo in your profile.
There is no point including a 20 year old photo in your profile as this will be nothing like you of today.
- Avoid showing social habits (smoking or drinking) in your photo.
I have nothing against smokers or drinkers but, smoking in photos looks tacky and you wouldn't want to give the impression of being an alcoholic, or easy drunk now would you? :)
- Use a head and top torso shot.
As profile photos are fairly small in size, head and top torso photos provide greater far better detail and clarity. Look happy and natural. Avoid fake over smiling, expressions of concentration, sadness, or misery.
- Avoid professional glamour photo shots.
Apart from copyright infringement, these type of photos generally do not portray what you really look like in everyday life. Avoid using the 'just got out of bed' look photos as well.
- Avoid using a full body shot, or a photo of you 4mm tall standing at the foot of the great pyramids. If you must use a full length shot have a natural and relaxed pose and take up as much as the height of the photo as possible.
- Avoid using photos with ex-partners partiality showing or cut out. Very Tacky!
Your online dating profile contents:
The dating profile guidance is simple! As with your headline, avoid boring, negative, derogatory or sexually suggestive topics or comments in your profile. Keep your profile text simple, fun, lighthearted, interesting and above all, be HONEST! A few well written paragraphs is really all you need to inspire and create the desire for a person to contact you. Writing a huge "War and Peace" profile will only serve to put prospective contacts to sleep. Remember, you can expand on your profile and introduce more topics once you start emailing, instant messaging, chatting or talking on the phone.
The most important tips I can offer for writing your personal ads or online dating profiles is to BE HONEST and BE POSITIVE! Did I mention being honest? Being honest will avoid embarrassing and awkward caught-out situations later down the track, not to mention disappointment and heartache you may cause another person. Your profile is your window to the world and the view should be honest, positive and be a reflection your personality, what you enjoy doing, what you are looking for in a partner, your aspirations, your goals and your dreams.
If you like cruising the pacific, say so. If you love extreme sports, say so. If you are a "home body" or "couch potato", say so. If you like clubbing till 5am in the morning, then say so. The more topics and interests you can touch on in your online dating profile, the more it will provide an invaluable insight and will create a solid foundation for further email, instant messaging, online chat and other forms of communications.
Include in your online dating profile the type of person you are looking for. You can be as broad or as specific as you like. If you are looking for a 5 foot AC/DC loving pool player that has shares in the Jack Daniels company, then say so. If you prefer an 4 foot overweight, generous man with a long white beard and white fur lined red jacket, then say so. Being specific in your profile will narrow down the number of responses you receive, as well as, reducing the chances of being contacted by members with whom you share very little or nothing what so ever in common.
Now you have been empowered with the basics of what to include in your online dating profile or personal ad you can start putting words to word processor and swing open your very own window to the online dating world!
Wishing you every success in your online dating quest!
Below you will find more articles which include tips and common courtesies for both men and women to keep in mind when responding to contacts received from your online dating profile or personal ad. Or if you want to skip along to getting started writing your online dating profile you can visit any of the online dating web sites below for inspiration and ideas. Happy writing! :)